MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
