S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
this hospital has no fireball
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
