Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
