He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
