Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
