i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
