haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Help. Why am I so naked?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
