okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
