Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
