I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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