Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
