he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
