Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
