Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
just tell him i said nine months
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
