I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
