me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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