none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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