Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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