He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
