i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
