yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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