i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
