Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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