This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
