i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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