you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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