Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
