Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
