it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
