his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
