I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
