just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
