tell your sister to shave her snatch
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
