i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
