I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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