So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
