So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
