my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Less talking, more tequila
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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