You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you win again, gameday.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
