life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
