I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
