We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
