Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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