sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
and i looked up. we had an audience...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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