Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
