i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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