Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
