drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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