ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
