you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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