There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
