Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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