i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm like, not good at living.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
