I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
